there's always money in the butterbeer stand

Oh, Ron, she’s a girl. I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. Let me out that queen.

To prove that no prison can hold me, I will incarcerate myself in Azkaban, only to escape 24 hours later. No Dementor can hold me! (to Harry) Say that to them in Parseltongue.

You can just say intercourse.

We’re gonna swing by his wigmaker. His “just-woke-up hair” is finally ready.

(Caption via Nicole.)

Me quick, want slow.

(Just kidding. Neville Longbottom don’t need no Ancient Chinese Secret.)

There’s gotta be a better way to say that.

He’s a flamer.

(Caption credit to Jackie.)

Don’t call my escorts whores.

It’s not your fault your parents were cousins, but here we are.

“Yeah, and you were almost arrested for those business cards.”